Redeem this text for a blowjob
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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