Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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