How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
