dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
