Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I skipped work to stalk him.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you made out with another girl for some wings
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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