Whod you bang
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
