So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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