dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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