There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
And then he peed in my hair
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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