He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
