Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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