They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
