I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
