My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My vagina is officially offended.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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