She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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