The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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