Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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