I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
