i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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