dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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