I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He passed out mid-signature
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
