went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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