Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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