She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
