your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
