Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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