hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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