Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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