with your own penis?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
