i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
