ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ugly people sure do ruin things
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
