Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
