Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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