all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
