i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
