u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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