i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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