you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
