so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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