every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
