i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
