What did we do last night that was yellow?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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