Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
