Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
