we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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