Got a toothbrush?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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