I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize