Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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