Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
