he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize