I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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