omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize