and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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