After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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