porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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