My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
