Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
