she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You have to summon your inner elephant
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
