He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize