I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
