we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
