It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
