I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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